Perfect - Pink

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Her eyes, her eyes
make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But everytime she asks me "Do I look okay?"
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
'Cause you know I'll say

Why Are You Trying So Hard To Fit In, When You Where Born To Stand Out?

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”

Today I've realized that since I've started in my new school in the USA, I've been trying too hard to impress people. I spend 45 minutes every morning doing my hair and putting make up on, I try to look like I don't need friends because I already have mine (10.000 miles away) and I've been trying too hard to fit in. I would look at the mirror and think that I don't look pretty enough like some other girls, or that I'm not worth it. I've been trying so hard, I've been pushing myself to be better, to be more beautiful. I realized that I am creating monsters withing me. I look at pictures of last year and I think to myself how pretty I used to be, but what happened with me? I used to be confident, I wasn't trying to be someone I'm not, I was just being myself.

Now, I am everything but myself. I don't like my reflection in the mirror, I don't like my clothes or my make up, and everyone looks better than I do. I feel like I'm becoming someone I'm not; superficial and far away from my dreams and goals.

So today I said "What The Hell". Whatever with what guys think about me. I'm going to be myself. Wavy hair and small amount of make up here I go. I'm not going to be 45 minutes doing my hair and changing outfits. And yes, I do have an accent, if you like it, good, you are more than welcome to talk to me; if you don't like it, I'm sorry, you'll have to hear it for a long, long time, so get over it. I am me, and I miss my old self. I want to get it back, and I don't care what people think. I'm going to live my life, go out, dance, sing, scream, laugh, smile, jump, talk, meet people... because the truth is... the less you try, the better you are.

 "We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies"

"If you hear a voice within you saying "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves."

"Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown. "

"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer."

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."

"It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence"

 

Day 9: Someone you wish you could meet

There are so many persons in this planet that I wish I could meet.  But I think there's nobody that special that I'd give my life to meet. Of course I would like to get to know a little bit deeper some people, but I'm already good with the people I have.

Someday You Are Gonna Be Mine

101 Things You Should Do Before You Die

I have a list of 300 things I want to do before I die, but I was thinking that I've been to many places, and I've been through a lot, I've met a lot of people and I've learned many things. So these are the things that I've already done that your should do before you die:

1. Go to Hoboken, NJ, and see NYC at night. Most beautiful thing ever.
2. Go to the Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles.
3. Walk in Venice Beach, LA.
4. Walk in the Hollywod Walk Of Fame.
5. See the Hollywood Sign.
6. Go to Puerto Madryn, Argentina.
7. Go to sleep at 9 am after partying the whole night.
8. Drink alcohol. 
9. Eat until you die
10. Stay home watching movies while everybody is partying. 
11. Watch Titanic.
12. Go to Radio City, NY.
13. Get into a school bus.
14. Take pictures of yourself in a cemetery.
15. Upload stupid videos of yourself in Youtube.
16. Swim in the ocean.
17. Tweet something.
18. Have Facebook (at least for a week)
19. Go far away from everybody
20. Study abroad
21. Go somewhere where you don't know anybody
22. Dance in your room by yourself
23. Wear make up
24. Go to Ocean Groove, NJ
25. Go to Disney World, FL
26. Walk the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco
27. Cook your own food.
28. Play with your younger siblings. 
29. Get a gift for someone in your family for no reason
30. Say I love you to your mom.
31. Go to Greece
32. Go to 6 Flags
33. Go to the Hollywood Tower in MGM, Disney.
34. Ice skate
35. Have an iPod
36. Watch an episode of Hannah Montana
37. Go to a concert
38. Watch Crossroads with Britney Spears.
39. Lock eyes with a guy
40. Have roost bear, even though it is disgusting.
41. Sing in front of a lot of people
42. Smile for no reason
43. Cry for no reason
44. Laugh until your stomach hurts
45. Do a chemistry lab
46. Go to an american school.
47. Have a locker <3
48. Eat sushi
49. Go to Madrid
50. Go to Vegas and see the lights at night
51. Go by helicopter to the Red Canyon
52. Dream too much
53. Sing Mr Brightside by The Killers.
54. Watch The Hangover
55. Have one best best friend
56. Like a guy
57. Kiss a guy
58. Have a shirt that says I Love NY and I Love LA
59. Listen to The Climb and cry with it
60. Look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see
61. Fall in love with someone you don't know.
62. Fail a test
63. Cheat on a test
64. Try to rap like Eminem and get messed up with the lyrics
65. Go to Turkey
66. Go To Morocco
67. Take the "T" in Boston.
68. Read "The Scarlet Letter"
69. Try to sing like Christina Aguilera and lose your voice
70. Dance in front of your class
71. Go to Cordoba, Argentina (specially to Nueva Cordoba at night)
72. Wear an argentinean shirt during the world cup
73. Watch a soccer game of Messi.
74. Go to Staple Center in LA.
75. Listen to Flaca by Andres Calamaro. 
76. Watch Harry Potter
77. Play Kinnect, Xbox 
78. Eat dulce de leche
79. Drink Mate
80. Travel by plane
81. Go on a road trip
82. Sunbathe
83. Wear a lot of make up
84. Go out without wearing any make up
85. Learn a new language
86. Live in another country for a while
87. Watch a movie in italian
88. Listen to "East Northumberland High" by Miley Cyrus
89. Have a crush in a younger guy
90. Go to Pinto, Santiago del Estero, Argentina.
91. Dance tango
92. Have "asado" and empanadas (argentinean meals)
93. Go to Beverly Hills
94. Take a picture of yourself with the star of Marilyn Monroe in the Hollywood Walk of Fame
95. See a picture of Zac Efron
96. Watch "He's Just not that into you"
97. Go to the Statue of Liberty
98. Go to the Bellagio in Vegas.
99. Watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy
100. Go to the street dressed up as a witch
101. JUST BE HAPPY WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS WRONG. 

Day 8: Your Biggest Fear

My biggest fear...

I have a lot of fears, just like everyone else. I'm scared of beginnings, I'm scared of change, I'm scared of loss, I'm scared of bugs, I'm scared of death, I'm scared of alligators... I have a lot of fears, but I think my biggest one is:


Failure. I'm scared of working too hard for something, giving everything up for it, fight for it until I die, and not get it. I think part of it is the fear of risking something I already have, something that I love, for something that I want but I don't know if I will get it. I push myself, I compete with my inner conscience, and I am my biggest enemy. If I don't try something, then I will regret it my entire life. I need to take chances, to take risks, and my biggest fear is failing. I can accept failing a test if I didn't really study hard. I can accept not winning a soccer game if I didn't practice enough. My fear is giving my life for something and still fail. Right now I'm giving up the best time of life for a dream that I don't even know it will come true. I'm willing to do everything for it. But... what if it is not meant to be? What if I fall behind? What if it never comes true? How will I get back all the time wasted? Well, that's my biggest fear. I think that somehow we are all scared of failing. Maybe it is stupid to be scared of it. Maybe... if you learn something from your mistake, then it is not really a mistake. Maybe, a risk is not really a risk if you know what the result will be, and maybe, that's what life is about right? about taking chances, taking risks, just like a game, like hide and seek, you never know which one is the right spot to hide, but you just pick one in those 60 seconds that you have to hide while the other one is counting the seconds to go look for you. Life is all about the decisions we make and the risks we take. But despite these things that I'm writing, I'm still scared of failure. I think it's also about not being good enough. I live with a inner voice that is constantly judging me. I don't know if that voice comes from my heart or my mind, but I always need to feel proud of myself. Everything I do, I need to know that I worked hard for it, other wise I just hate myself. I'm not really friends with my own self, which is wrong, but yeah, basically, that's my biggest fear: Failure.

East Northumberland High - Miley Cyrus

My problem isn't that I miss you
Cause I don't
My problem isn't that I kissed you
I figured out
That you're nothing that I thought you're about
You're just caught in a place
That soon time will erase from my heart

You're my type of guy, I guess
If I was stuck in East Northumberland High
For the rest of my life
But people change
Thank God I did
Just because I liked you then
Doesn't mean I liked you now
Just because I liked you then
Doesn't mean I liked you

Your problem's not for lack of trying
Cause you do
Just that you're at your best when you're lying
Now you're here
Saying things you think I wanted to hear
But you've got it all wrong
I've already moved on my dear


When you're standing near me
I don't see so clearly
The feelings are still so palpable
But when I take two steps away
t sheds some light on my day
Yeah, you can't go back
It's all in the past
Guess you gotta laugh at it

Time Flies

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”

Today I realize that time flies. Time is my greatest enemie. Soon I'm going to be 16, and once I'm 16, I have 2 years left to be a teenager, to enjoy life, to have no responsibilities. I have to become an adult, I have to prepare myself, and I have to find myself and my purpose in this world.

I also realized that I've been here for 6 months already, and I have to make a decision soon, weather I stay or I go back, which actually means, I let go my past, or I hold on to it, because this time, I actually have the chance to get my past back. I think I already made that decision, deep, deep inside I have the answer, but on the outside, I don't want to admit it because it is probably the hardest thing I've ever been through.

So... time flies. We know that. My advice is: you never know when things can change. Tomorrow you'll wake up and you are going to be 60 years old and you'll be regretting all of the things you weren't able to do. So enjoy, go out, do everything you want to do, kiss every single guy you want to kiss, hug every single friend you want to hug, drink every single drink you want to drink, watch every single movie you want to watch, wear whatever you want to wear, eat whatever you want to eat and listen to whatever you wanna listen to. Just do everything you feel like doing, because someday you'll realize that the chance to do all of those things is gone. Time flies... today you are someone, tomorrow you are someone else. It sucks, we all know that. The past seems so close, but at the same time it is so far away from where we are today. And the future seems so far away, but it is so, so close it scares me.

Enjoy the present, live for today. Because the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift, that's why it is called "present".

Day 7: Your Ex Crush

I'm gonna talk about Jason (that's not his real name, but that's how I used to call him). He... he was everything to me for basically an entire year. Nothing happened, he was just an illusion, fantasy and impossible dream. Maybe it wasn't that impossible, I just never really had the guts to do something.

It was funny because with a friend we would do everything for him to do something. He actually did some weird things sometimes, and he would talk to my friend about it. He was just the center of my universe. Everything I did was about him, about what he would think about it, about how he would look at me. And every little thing he did to me, like jokes, or conversations, or chats or whatever, they would make my life. Sometimes he would say that I looked hot, or cute, or stuff like that. I mean, I had the chances to take a step, but fate and destiny just didn't want it to happen. And I'm glad though. I think he would've broken my heart, just like he did with every girl in school. Even his best friends are in love with him.

The funny thing about it is that nobody knew that he was Jason. Everybody knew that there was a Jason, but nobody really knew who he was. Not even some of my best friends. He was, and he still is, one of the biggest secrets of my life. Today, I think about it and I just look at the past and laugh at it. Oh boy... he really did make me forget about everything else. He really made my days happy.

Some of my friends say that it was all a waste of time because it ended up in nothing, but actually, I've learned a lot. I've learned what is like to love someone when he doesn't love you back. I've learned what is like to hold on to something for so long just for nothing. I've learned how beautiful a guy can make you feel and how amazing love is. I've learned how girls misread the signs. I've learned to realize that there's a difference between giving up and just accepting that is not meant to be. I've learned what is like to feel like it is the end of the world because of a guy. I've learned how it feels when someone breaks your heart, and I've also learned to pick up the pieces, put them back together, and on my own, keep going and move on.

I will never forget about Jason. I might forget about Jake, Jackson, Derek... but not about Jason. I was young, I had faith and hope and I believed in destiny like I never did before. And the day I realized nothing was going to happen was like the worst day of my life. I cried for weeks. It was my first real broken heart (it happened on April 19th, 2010 when he told my friend that he didn't like me).

Of course, today I'm over it. But sometimes, I remember about it and I look back and I smile. Sometimes I wonder how he is doing and check his Facebook profile, not because I still like him, but because he means something to me. He represents those good old days in Argentina, when I still had time to enjoy my life there. He represents the time when I discovered the good things about my country, when I found my real friends, when I found my place. I always assign a different year of my life to the crush that I had during that time period, and his year is 2009, probably the best year of my life.

Memories - What I've Been Looking For

Day 6: A Stranger

A stranger? I don't know what I am supposed to say about someone I don't know. Besides, there are so many strangers in this world, it gets hard to choose who to talk about.  I can say my crush is a stranger, but I already talked about my crush. I could say Miley Cyrus is a stranger, but there's nothing really left to talk about Miley Cyrus. I could also talk about the guy who sits next to me in my health class, I never even said "hi" to him, but what can I say about someone I never even said hi to?

So instead of talking about a stranger, I'm just going to talk about strangers in general. I know I'm breaking the rule, but I'm not going to fake to be interested in someone I'm not really interested in. So this is all I can say about strangers, and I hope YOU, a random reader, a stranger to me, like this:

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Best Song Ever. 

Day 5: Your Dreams

 I think that if you ask someone to describe me in one word, the first thing that will go to their head will be "dreamer". I live with a foot and a half on the moon, and the half of one foot on the Earth. I don't know what is like to not have dreams, expectations for the future and impossible goals. I'm the kind of person that dreams big, that asks for the hard stuff, and no matter how hard they are, I fight for them. That's probably the only thing that I like about myself: when I really want something, I'll do anything to get it, no matter how hard it is.

Since I was very, very young, my dream was to be an actress, go to California, live in the City Of Angels, in Venice Beach, where is warm the whole year... That's basically the biggest goal of my life. But as I grew up, I started discovering that life is not just about the goal, but how you get it, and during my journey I have goals like get an american accent, have good friends, learn languages, have good grades, learn from my experiences, and the most important one: be happy. After I achieve all of those small goals, I think that will be the right time to live my dreams. There's only one life, and it is too short. I don't wanna live just for one dream, I don't wanna fight for just one thing that could be over in a blink of an eye. I wanna enjoy everything I do, and learn from every single experience and that's my dream. 

And you know what keeps me climbing no matter what? the fact that I can't give up after all I held on. I've got pretty far from where I started. A few years ago all I knew was that I wanted to be an actress and succeed in the US. So I decided to learn English, to be more charismatic, and to come to the US. And here I am, going to an American school, speaking English, meeting people and doing everything I can to survive away from my family, and even though I have my moments, I know I'm doing good, because I'm learning from every single thing I see and in a few years, the night that I win my first Oscar, I'll know that I didn't only get to the top, but I also enjoyed the journey.

Smells

"Some people think that just because the past is behind, this is not important any more"

"The past is the only dead thing that smells sweet"

I was searching in my wardrobe for something to wear tomorrow, and I found a shirt that I haven't seen in months. When I took it the first thing I did was smell it, I don't know why, and for one second, while I was smelling it, I got a bunch of flashbacks in my head. That Argentinean smell, that perfume that I used to wear when I was there, combined with my mommy's perfume and the smell of the lotion I used to have in my room. I know it sounds really freaky and weird, but I was used to that smell, and I haven't smelled it in 6 months. And for one second, I felt like I was back in Argentina, in my room, in my house, and my mom was downstairs having a coffee and my sisters were playing, and I was about to meet my friends. It was like a whole movie scene in one second, but isn't it funny how smells are so important? The perfume of someone that reminds you the moments you spent with them, the smell of a shampoo, the smell of food... 

Even though we don't notice it, because it is not visible like a picture or a place, the smells are a part of our lives, and we don't even notice when they leave, but we do notice when they are back, and they remind us how much we were missing it.

xoxo L

Boys & Girls Are Just Stupid

Flechazos, de Natxo López Muro
Uploaded by JamesonNotodofilmfest. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

When I Look At You - Miley Cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights are so long 'cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

When my world is falling apart
When there's no light
To break up the dark
That's when I
I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't find my way home any more
That's when I
I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know you're beautiful
Yeah yeah

Mediocrity

*mediocrity: somebody who lacks any special skill, dream or expectation and does not look for something better *

Mediocrity... when people conform their selves with the thing they have in their hands, never look for something more.

Mediocrity... when people are not able to accept new ideas, or different point of views.

Mediocrity... when people think there is nothing beyond the horizon.

Mediocrity... when people stick to their own routines, instead of looking for something new.

Mediocrity... when people don't know who they are or what they want.

Mediocrity... when people want to be just like everyone else, instead of being different.

Mediocrity... when people change just to fit in.

Mediocrity... when people don't fight for what they want.

Mediocrity... when people are not willing to discover new places, new people, new lifestyles .

Mediocrity... when people are not willing to do something different.

Mediocrity... when people think there is a limit for everything.

Mediocrity... when people let other people stop them from what they really want.

Mediocrity... when people are scared to move on.

Mediocrity... when people are scared to do something for other people.

Mediocrity... when people stick to the plan of someone else, instead of making their own plan.

Mediocrity... when people follow rules, instead of creating their own rules.

Mediocrity... when people don't know the difference between an Emmy and a Grammy (just joking)

Mediocrity... when people are not able to grow up.

Mediocrity... when people are not able to do something by their own.

Mediocrity... when people are stuck in their own ideas.

Mediocrity... when people think they know it all, and there is nothing left to be discovered.

Mediocrity... when people is too busy looking the mistakes of other people, instead of trying to stop making their own mistakes.

*mediocrity: somebody who lacks any special skill, dream or expectation and doesnt look for something better *


Also written when I was 14 years old, back in the days...

Myself at 14 years old

"i know, im a freak...

because...

...i get a A in every English test while i get a freaking 5 in P.E (physical education). When everyone goes dancing, I stay at home watching Grey's Anatomy. I prefer McDonalds than Burger King. I hate Ice Cream of Dulce de Leche but I love Dulce de Leche. I love coffee but I hate tea. I hate 15th birthday parties. I can't stand people who don't have dreams or expectations for the future, they drive me crazy. I prefer the UCLA instead of Harvard or Yale. I prefer Cordoba than Buenos Aires. I'm scared of 2012. I prefer snakes or spiders instead of cockroaches. I'd rather have a lion or a shark in front of me instead of an alligator. I love eating but i don't like cooking. I think People is better than Us Magazine. I love Hollywood but i hate papparazzis. I love subways and planes...

...All of the songs in my iPod are in English. I prefer Katie Perry instead of the Lady Gaga or Lady Antebellum. I hate Shakira. I think Kanye West is a jerk. I think Madonna is not that good. I'm team Britney rather than Christina . I think Selena Gomez should die. I kinda secretly love Justin Bieber. I think Green Day and 30 Seconds to Mars are dead in Hollywood. I think Demi Lovato has the best voice in the whole world. I think "Firework", "Teenage Dream" and "California Gurls" are the best songs of the decade. I hate "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers. I think The Killers and Black Eyed Peas are the best band in the world and Metro Station should win a Grammy someday. I think the Jonas Brothers should disappear. And seriously, I think "The Climb" is the best soundtrack song.

...i prefer the USA instead of Afganistan. I prefer Bush than Cristina Kirchner or Bin Laden, but of course Obama beats them all (he rocks). I think people hates the USA because is one of the best countries in the world. I dont like Chile, dont know why. I think LA is the best place in the world. I prefer Santa Monica or Malibu instead of the Caribbean (that's seriously weird, but it doesn't mean i would go to the Caribbean if i have the chance to go).

... I hate MTV and i love E! I prefer watching E!News instead of CNN. I prefer twitter than formspring. I never miss the Red Carpet Season on E!. I think "Glee" is better than "Man Man". I prefer watching Hannah Montana instead of American Idol. I think "Slumdog Millionare" didn't deserve the Oscar. I think Disney Channel is better than Nickelodeon. I think Wizards of Waverly Place is way worse than Hannah Montana. I prefer "Teen Choice Awards" instead of "People Choice Awards". I hate Camp Rock and all that Disney crap, but I love Hannah Montana. I think the best performance ever was "You belong with me" by Taylor Swift on the MTV VMA's. I think The Little Mermaid is the best Disney princess, and is one of the best Disney Movies, alone with Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. And of course I think Disney Pixar is better than Dreamworks. And I think Harry Potter is better than The Lord Of The Rings. And of course i prefer 100% Grey's Anatomy than ER or Doctor House. And I prefer Alex Karev than McDreamy. I hate Ice Age, while I love Kung Fu Panda and Shreck. I prefer David Letterman than Jay Leno or Connan O'Brien, but i think the NBC should stop this mess between them and hire Ellen to host "The Tonight Show", she's seriously the best. I prefer ABC than NCB, but the The CW is the best channel. I prefer the old 90210 than the new one, even though i love them both. I prefer "The Hills" than "The City", but I hate "The Hills" without Lauren.

...I freaking hate the Twilight Saga, and I hate Rob Pat (because he wants to act like he's sexy with his ridiculous and pathetic look in his eyes when he's on the red carpet or wherever actually) and Kristen Stewart and the whole cast, except Taylor Lautner, just because he's really cute.

...I think taylor swift needs to get over Joe. I think Miley Cyrus needs to get back with Nick. I think Selena Gomez is the MOST IDIOT-EST (i know i wrote it wrong) person in the world, and I'd punch her in her face if i ever see her. I think Ben Affleck or Ashton Kutcher are way cuter than Brad Pitt or Matt Damon. I prefer Skandar Keynes than William Moseley or Ben Barnes.
I prefer Bob Marley instead of Michael Jackson and Beyonce instead of Madonna. I prefer Jennifer Aniston than Angelina Jolie. I think Miley is way better than Hilary or Lindsay (when they were her age)

so yeah... im a freak, and i LOVE BEING A FREAK! And I'm a freak cuz i spent like 2 hours writing this freking note instead of watching Scrubs and Desperate Housewives. The thing is... DONT FIT IN, JUST STAND OUT, BE A FREAK, GO TO HOLLYWOOD ;)"

Written in January 2010. It's amazing how people can change in exactly one year.

He's Just Not That Into You

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bands and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope"

He's Just Not That Into You

Day 4: Your Sibling

The first 9 years of my life, I didn't know what it was like to share, to love someone so much that you'd give your life for that person, to fight for another person's happiness and do everything for that person to be alright, healthy and safe. For 9 years I was an only child, not only I was the only kid, but I was also the only niece, the only grandchild, no cousins, nothing. Just Me. The whole family for myself. Of course I used to get thousand of gifts for Christmas, for my birthday, even for Easter.

But when I was 9 years old, my mom gave me the most beautiful gift I ever had in my life: a beautiful sister. It was the best thing that happened in my life, and after that, 3 more sisters came. All girls. Each of them with a unique personality, with their own thing that make my life so happy. They all have different ways to show their love to me, and I know my life wouldn't be as fun as it is without them. Yeah, they can be annoying, but at the end of the day, they are always there for me, even when they don't understand why I'm sad or upset. They always have kisses, smiles, hugs and songs to offer when they know I need someone. And they also know that, no matter what, their older sister will be always there for them to give them advices, to support them, to help them and to guide them. I'm here for them, even though they are young now (they are between 0 and 7 years) and they don't understand how much they mean to me.

Being an older sister is one of the best roles I'll ever get to be. Is having more knowledge about life, more experience and wisdom to guide them and help them to get through their lives. It is not like being a mom, who has to raise and educate their child. It is better, because I get to be the one that is not ahead or behind them, I get to be the one who is by their side, to hold their hands while they walk, to hug them when they feel lonely, to advice them when they feel lost, to dry their tears when they feel like nothing is worth it and to inspire them when hope is gone.

Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?

No matter what we do
No matter what we say
We're the song that's outta tune
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
And everywhere we go
The sun will always shine
The sun will always, always shine!
But tomorrow we might awake on the other side

Accents

"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same"

The hardest thing of moving to another country is not leaving everything behind. It's finding that feeling of home in your new place. It's feeling like you belong there, that you fit in no matter how different you are. But feeling that way is even harder than let go your past. Feeling like you belong in another country is like trying to be white when you are black, or like trying to be Chinese when you are German, or trying to be an apple when you are a banana.

I've been always a confident person. I love speaking in public and I have no trouble being the center of attention (I want to be an actress). The thing is, when I came to the US, I realized that speaking in another language changes your whole personality. In Spanish I am one person, in English I am a stranger that not even I can recognize. And having that accent, reminds me and the rest of the people that no, I'm not American, I'm not from here, and I'm not like everyone else, I'm different. And even though I like being different and unique, having an accent is a different way of being different. It's saying "hi" to someone new and quickly being asked why you have an accent. It's having an oral presentation and being nervous because everyone is starring at you. It's not having the confidence enough to just randomly talk to someone and make friends. Having an accent is what keeps you away from fitting in, from belonging in the place where you are.

But what I've learned is... fitting in is overrated. Being the same is just normal. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm lucky enough to be memorable, to show everybody that I have the courage to go somewhere else and explore a new world, a new culture, new people, while they spent their whole life in the same place. The accent does not only show that I'm not American and that I'm different, but it also shows that I might have many stories to tell, that I have a place to go where people is waiting for me thousand of miles away.

Yeah, the accent might hurt. The accent might remind me how far away from home I am, and how hard it is going to be who I really am in a world where people doesn't really like accents. But at the same time, that accent, represents who I am, where I am from, and it's the big scar that I wear everyday showing everybody that I've been through a lot, that my life is like an adventure. That I take chances, I take challenges and that I don't just survive. I look for more, I explore.

So next time I have an oral presentation, I'm going to see everybody starring at me, and I'm going to feel proud, because I am the only one that is brave enough to have an accent and speak in front of a bunch of people.

Remember, it is good to be different, no matter how people think of you, no matter how strange you might be to them, just be different.

Day 3: Your Parents

When it comes down to my parents, I would prefer to talk about my mom. I love my dad, but he moved out of my house when I was 3 years old, and I would only see him once a year after that.

My relationship with my mom is like a movie. For years and years we would fight all the time, we wouldn't agree on anything and we weren't able to spend time together. I always thought that I didn't need her, that she wasn't important in my life. But everything changed when I moved 10.000 miles away from her. They say you don't know what you have until is gone, and believe me, it's true. When I didn't have her any more I started to realize that I was missing her hugs, her voice, her rides to my friend's house, our movie nights, her perspective on life, her advices, the coffees that she would make me at 6 pm... all of those small little details that were part of my routine, part of my life for 15 years, that time made me forget how much they mean to me. Suddenly, I was far away, I didn't have her any more.

The good thing is that today I know how much I love her, today I recognize that she's the most important person in my life. And before I came to the US, she gave me a letter with advices and with everything that she hopes I've learned from her, and when I feel alone, I read that letter and I feel like she talked to me through the distance, even though she is in the other side of the world.

Love my mommy. 

Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day

And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind

She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

You say that I'm messing with your head
All cause I was making out with your friend
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong
I can't stop cause I'm having too much fun

You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now
I'm thinking What The Hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now
What The Hell

So what if I go out on a million dates
You never call or listen to me anyway
I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day
Don't get me wrong
I just need some time to play

You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

Day 2: My Crush

I don't like this subject. My problem is that I never let myself be away from guys. I mean, I'm constantly having a crush on somebody, and I'm the kind of girl that gets obsessed with the guy, goes to his Facebook profile like 6 times a day and asks him anonymous questions on Formspring.

At the beginning of the school year, I saw this guy, M, and I totally started liking him, it was like love at first sight, even though it wasn't love. That's the funny thing, I like them, but I don't love them. I mean, thanks God I don't, because I think that being in love, loving someone and liking someone are just 3 diffeferent things. I just like them, but I in an extreme way. The other guy is C. He... he came out of nowhere. He randomly said hi once in the hallways even though I didn't even know who he was. Then he friendrequested me on facebook, and he liked my profile picture. After that, I went to his facebook photos and I saw this picture of him hugging his mom and I just fell "in love".

The thing is... they are just crushes, no more than that.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you
Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing your fool?

I sing ya songs I dance a dance
I gave ya friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
And maybe you been through this before
But it's my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well I'm already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting

Well if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

No I can't always be waiting waiting on you
I can't always be playing playing your fool, fool